On Grief and Grieving

양장본 Hardcover

Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth/ Kessler, David 저자(글)

Scribner Book Company · 2005년 07월 05일

책 소개

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross earned a place as the best-loved and most-respected authority on the subjects of death and dying. Through her many books, as well as her years working with terminally ill children, AIDS patients, and the elderly, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross brought comfort and understanding to millions coping with their own deaths or the death of a loved one. Dr. Kubler-Ross, whose books have been translated into twenty-seven languages, passed away in 2004 at the age of seventy-eight. Before her death, she and David Kessler completed work on their second collaboration, On Grief and Grieving. David Kessler is the coauthor with Kubler-Ross of Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living. On his own he is the author of The Needs of the Dying, which received praise from Mother Teresa and has been translated into eleven languages. Mr. Kessler takes his experiences and turns them into motivational lectures for thousands of people every year. He is a nationally recognized leader in the field of hospice and palliative care. He also recruits prospective adoptive families for children in the foster-care system. He lives in Los Angeles.
Your Loss An unimaginable, indescribable loss has taken place. It has inflicted a wound so deep that numbness and excruciating pain are the material of which it is made. Everyone experiences many losses throughout life, but the death of a loved one is unmatched for its emptiness and profound sadness. Your world stops. You know the exact time your loved one died-or the exact moment you were told. It is marked in your mind. Your world takes on a slowness, a surrealness. It seems strange that the clocks in the world continue when your inner clock does not. Your life continues, but you are not sure why. A different life appears before you, one in which your loved one will no longer be physically present. No one can give you words to make you feel better; there are none. You will survive, though you may not be sure how or even if you want to. - From Chapter 2: "The Inner World of Grief".
Chapter One: The Five Stages of Grief Denial, Anger, Barganing, Depression, and Acceptance The stages have evolved since their introduction, and they have been very misunderstood over the past three decades. They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grief is as individual as our lives.The five stages -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance -- are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or goes in a prescribed order.Our hope is that with these stages comes the knowledge of grief's terrain, making us better equipped to cope with life and loss. Denial Denial in grief has been misinterpreted over the years. When the stage of denial was first introduced inOn Death and Dying,it focused on the person who was dying. In this book,On Grief and Grieving,the person who may be in denial is grieving the loss of a loved one. In a person who is dying, denial may look like disbelief. They may be going about life and actually denying that a terminal illness exists. For a person who has lost a loved one, however, the denial is more symbolic than literal.This does not mean that you literally don't know your loved one has died. It means you come home and you can't believe that your wife isn't going to walk in the door at any minute or that your husband isn't just away on a business trip. You simply can't fathom that he will never walk through that door again.When we are in denial, we may respond at first by being paralyzed with shock or blanketed with numbness. The denial is still notdenial of the actual death,even though someone may be saying, "I can't believe he's dead." The person is actually saying that, at first, because it is too much for his or her psyche.Alicia was accustomed to Matthew's being away on business trips. His work required him to travel the world, and Alicia had accompanied him on several trips that took him to places she wanted to see. She also witnessed the jet lag, hectic schedule, time changes, and delayed flights.On his current trip, Alicia was surprised that he'd been scheduled to arrive in Delhi and he hadn't phoned her yet. After two days, he called and apologized, explaining that there were phone problems in his hotel. She understood because this often happened when he traveled to third world countries.The next call came two days later in the middle of the night from one of her husband's coworkers. He gently told her that he had very bad news. Matthew had been killed in a car accident. He said there were very few details as yet but the home office would be contacting her.Alicia couldn't believe her ears. After she hung up the phone she immediately thought, "Did I just dream that? This must be a mistake." She called her sister, who arrived just as the sun was rising. They waited until eight o'clock and called the home office only to find out they didn't know of any problem, much less a tragedy like this. But they said they would look into it immediately. For the rest of the morning Alicia couldn't stop wondering if she had dreamed the phone call. Was there a mistake? The next call came at noon, confirming that indeed, last night's bad news was true.For the next few days Alicia made funeral arrangements, all the while saying, "This can't be true. I know when the body arrives it won't be him." The night before the funeral, Alicia finally saw her dear husband's body. She looked at his face to make sure it wasn't just someone who looked like Matthew, but when she saw his wedding ring, there was no more question.Shortly before her death in 2004, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, her collaborator, completed the manuscript for this, her final book.On Grief and Grievingis a fitting completion to her work. Thirty-six years and sixteen books ago, Kubler-Ross's groundbreakingOn Death and Dyingchanged the way we talk about the end of life. NowOn Grief and Grievingwill profoundly influence the way we experience the process of grief.On Death and Dyingbegan as a theoretical book, an interdisciplinary study of our fear of death and our inevitable acceptance of it. It introduced the world to the now-famous five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.On Grief and Grievingapplies these stages to the process of grieving and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, all based on Kubler-Ross's and Kessler's professional and personal experiences, and is filled with brief, topic-driven stories. It includes sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, coping, children, healing, isolation, and even the subject of sex during grief."I know death is close," Kubler-Ross says at the end of the book, "but not quite yet. I lie here like so many people over the years, in a bed surrounded by flowers and looking out a big window....I now know that the purpose of my life is more than these stages....It is not just about the life lost but also the life lived."In one of their final writing sessions, Kubler-Ross told Kessler, "The last nine years have taught me patience, and the weaker and more bed-bound I become, the more I'm learning about receiving love."On Grief and Grievingis Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's final legacy, one that brings her life's work profoundly full circle.
"In her first, seminal book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five stages of dying: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. In the years that followed, it became evident that these stages applied not only to the process of accepting death, but also to accepting other difficult and catastrophic life experiences, such as losing a loved one." "In her final book, On Grief and Grieving, completed shortly before her death, Kubler-Ross and Life Lessons co-author David Kessler revisit the five stages in order to create a deeply empathetic and accessible guide for those left behind. With compassion and understanding, the authors deliver insights and advice designed to help readers rebalance their lives and find the courage to continue."--BOOK JACKET.
Shortly before her death in 2004, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, her collaborator, completed the manuscript for this, her final book.On Grief and Grievingis a fitting completion to her work. Thirty-six years and sixteen books ago, Kubler-Ross's groundbreakingOn Death and Dyingchanged the way we talk about the end of life. NowOn Grief and Grievingwill profoundly influence the way we experience the process of grief.On Death and Dyingbegan as a theoretical book, an interdisciplinary study of our fear of death and our inevitable acceptance of it. It introduced the world to the now-famous five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.On Grief and Grievingapplies these stages to the process of grieving and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, all based on Kubler-Ross's and Kessler's professional and personal experiences, and is filled with brief, topic-driven stories. It includes sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, coping, children, healing, isolation, and even the subject of sex during grief."I know death is close," Kubler-Ross says at the end of the book, "but not quite yet. I lie here like so many people over the years, in a bed surrounded by flowers and looking out a big window....I now know that the purpose of my life is more than these stages....It is not just about the life lost but also the life lived."In one of their final writing sessions, Kubler-Ross told Kessler, "The last nine years have taught me patience, and the weaker and more bed-bound I become, the more I'm learning about receiving love."On Grief and Grievingis Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's final legacy, one that brings her life's work profoundly full circle.
Shortly before her death in 2004, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, her collaborator, completed the manuscript for this, her final book. On Grief and Grieving is a fitting completion to her work. Thirty-six years and sixteen books ago, Kubler-Ross's groundbreaking On Death and Dying changed the way we talk about the end of life. Now On Grief and Grieving will profoundly influence the way we experience the process of grief. On Death and Dying began as a theoretical book, an interdisciplinary study of our fear of death and our inevitable acceptance of it. It introduced the world to the now-famous five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the process of grieving and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, all based on Kubler-Ross's and Kessler's professional and personal experiences, and is filled with brief, topic-driven stories. It includes sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, coping, children, healing, isolation, and even the subject of sex during grief. "I know death is close," Kubler-Ross says at the end of the book, "but not quite yet. I lie here like so many people over the years, in a bed surrounded by flowers and looking out a big window....I now know that the purpose of my life is more than these stages....It is not just about the life lost but also the life lived." In one of their final writing sessions, Kubler-Ross told Kessler, "The last nine years have taught me patience, and the weaker and more bed-bound I become, the more I'm learning about receiving love." On Grief and Grieving is Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's final legacy, one that brings her life's work profoundly full circle.
Shortly before her death in 2004, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, her collaborator, completed the manuscript for this, her final book.On Grief and Grievingis a fitting completion to her work. Thirty-six years and sixteen books ago, Kubler-Ross's groundbreakingOn Death and Dyingchanged the way we talk about the end of life. NowOn Grief and Grievingwill profoundly influence the way we experience the process of grief.On Death and Dyingbegan as a theoretical book, an interdisciplinary study of our fear of death and our inevitable acceptance of it. It introduced the world to the now-famous five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.On Grief and Grievingapplies these stages to the process of grieving and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, all based on Kubler-Ross's and Kessler's professional and personal experiences, and is filled with brief, topic-driven stories. It includes sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, coping, children, healing, isolation, and even the subject of sex during grief."I know death is close," Kubler-Ross says at the end of the book, "but not quite yet. I lie here like so many people over the years, in a bed surrounded by flowers and looking out a big window....I now know that the purpose of my life is more than these stages....It is not just about the life lost but also the life lived."In one of their final writing sessions, Kubler-Ross told Kessler, "The last nine years have taught me patience, and the weaker and more bed-bound I become, the more I'm learning about receiving love."On Grief and Grievingis Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's final legacy, one that brings her life's work profoundly full circle.
"Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross deserves to be remembered because her life and work have made this world a better place. On Grief and Grieving is a heartfelt tribute to all who have lost a loved one, from a woman who changed our lives by changing our relationship to death and dying. What a wonderful book Elisabeth and David have written." -- Caroline Myss
"Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross deserves to be remembered because her life and work have made this world a better place. On Grief and Grieving is a heartfelt tribute to all who have lost a loved one, from a woman who changed our lives by changing our relationship to death and dying. What a wonderful book Elisabeth and David have written." -- Caroline Myss
"Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross deserves to be remembered because her life and work have made this world a better place.On Grief and Grievingis a heartfelt tribute to all who have lost a loved one, from a woman who changed our lives by changing our relationship to death and dying. What a wonderful book Elisabeth and David have written."-- Caroline Myss
"Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross left us one last gift, and it's a masterpiece. Having illumined the subject of death, she has now illumined the subject of grief. She and grief expert David Kessler have written a modern classic, the kind of book that all of us will want to keep on our bookshelves because we know it speaks to our deepest hearts." -- Marianne Williamson
"Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross left us one last gift, and it's a masterpiece. Having illumined the subject of death, she has now illumined the subject of grief. She and grief expert David Kessler have written a modern classic, the kind of book that all of us will want to keep on our bookshelves because we know it speaks to our deepest hearts." -- Marianne Williamson
"Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross left us one last gift, and it's a masterpiece. Having illumined the subject of death, she has now illumined the subject of grief. She and grief expert David Kessler have written a modern classic, the kind of book that all of us will want to keep on our bookshelves because we know it speaks to our deepest hearts."-- Marianne Williamson
Contents Authors' NotePreface: "I Am Done"Introduction: Anticipatory Grief1. The Five Stages of Grief DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance 2. The Inner World of Grief Your lossReliefEmotional restRegretsTearsAngelsDreamsHauntingsRolesThe storyFaultResentmentOther lossesLife beliefsIsolationSecretsPunishmentControlFantasyStrengthAfterlife 3. The Outer World of Grief AnniversariesSexYour body and your healthSo much to doClothes and possessionsHolidaysLetter writingFinancesAgeClosure 4. Specific Circumstances ChildrenMultiple lossesDisastersSuicideAlzheimers diseaseSudden death 5. The Changing Face of Grief6. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: My Own Grief7. David Kessler: My Own GriefAfterword: The Gift of GriefAcknowledgments
ContentsAuthors' NotePreface: "I Am Done"Introduction: Anticipatory Grief1. The Five Stages of GriefDenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance2. The Inner World of GriefYour lossReliefEmotional restRegretsTearsAngelsDreamsHauntingsRolesThe storyFaultResentmentOther lossesLife beliefsIsolationSecretsPunishmentControlFantasyStrengthAfterlife3. The Outer World of GriefAnniversariesSexYour body and your healthSo much to doClothes and possessionsHolidaysLetter writingFinancesAgeClosure4. Specific CircumstancesChildrenMultiple lossesDisastersSuicideAlzheimers diseaseSudden death5. The Changing Face of Grief6. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: My Own Grief7. David Kessler: My Own GriefAfterword: The Gift of GriefAcknowledgments
The authors explain how Kubler-Ross's famous "Five Stages of Dying" apply directly to mourners themselves. In this, her final book, completed shortly before her death, the author's own experiences and spiritual insight explain how the grief process helps survivors live with loss.

작가정보

저자(글) Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth/ Kessler, David

목차

• Preface : "I am done"
  Introduction : anticipatory grief	p. 1
  The five stages of grief	p. 7
  The inner world of grief	p. 29
  The outer world of grief	p. 115
  Specific circumstances	p. 159
  The changing face of grief	p. 203
  My own grief	p. 209
  My own grief	p. 217
  Afterword : the gift of grief	p. 227
  Table of Contents provided by Blackwell. All Rights Reserved.

기본정보

ISBN	9780743266284 ( 0743266285 )
발행(출시)일자	2005년 07월 05일
쪽수	235쪽
크기	147 * 221 * 25 mm / 349 g
총권수	1권
언어	영어